I am not about this life.
I’ve just finished and turned in an assignment given to me that could lead to one of my dream careers. The assignment wasn’t due until Friday, but my OCD won over my ADD, thus that joint got submitted today. It was an assignment to prove I’m dedicated to the cause and would be a lucrative investment.
Now that I’m sitting here taking a breather, the thought of being rejected is creeping upon me. I don’t have a fear of rejection but when it comes to art, well “…I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit.” -Erykah Badu
Aside from that, I have Rine! on the other shoulder saying, “I wish a motherfucker would reject me after I done typed up all that sh*t.”
There seems to be balance…
Sometimes you get tired of feeling like the wooden stool. The one used to step on when people need to get ahead. You get tired of feeling like the bat being blamed instead of the guy who took the swing.
I’m guilty of placing myself in situations my gut (Olivia Pope) told me was wrong from the start, but I’m also guilty of trying to make the most of those mistakes or lapses in judgement. I mean, once you’re in the shitter you might as well flush. Or something like that…lol
What I’m trying to say is, I’m tired of being the toy box for people who only care about me when I’m doing what they want me to do. I’m tired of taking on the “bad name” when I’m the one getting his leg pulled. I know it looks good on me. The guy with the chestnut eyes/sexy lips/bad guy image, but I’m not about that life.
Passive aggressiveness has gotten me nowhere fast. Especially when I keep hearing “..you’re making it seem like xyz.” Back are the days where you frenemies don’t have to go on what it “seems like”, rather what it really is because it came from yours truly.
really because I need not be line stepping or strolling when Atomic Dog comes on and I’m the only one on the damn line.
Party hoppin’ and slappin’ my own damn hand.
Today has been a big ass sigh of a day, but as Dukes likes to say, “Sometimes you just have to drag that leg and get on up the road.”
Ol’ country sh*t…