Today.
20 years ago.
Flatlined for 20 minutes.
Point blank range in the back of the head.
Exit wound behind left ear.
She was gone.
“No more mom”, they said. 
“She probably won’t make it”, they said.
“It’s probably better this way, as she’ll be no good if she comes to”, they said. 

She texted me this morning: “Today marks 20 years since I was shot. 30% hearing loss to my left ear ain’t half bad.” 

You better get your life, mama! 

My jogs have saved a lot of lives.

I have to be in a certain type of mood to take pictures [of myself] or allow them to be taken. It’s not that I’m trying to be rude when I decline or say, “Don’t post that.” Let’s just say I had some rough times in my childhood. Now it’s more so out of habit.

That’s what I looked like after I awoke from death…

Starred at myself in the mirror for about 10 minutes. I work[out] hard and it shows. THANKCHHAA! lol

You know what I really love about Aunt Alice? She’ll throw out a one-liner that will have you thinking for days. It may float away for minute, but it always comes back to nurture your psyche when you need it.

She doesn’t get preachy, try to govern your life or create an “Amen Corner” for you to hang yourself. She tells you a story or digs in her bag of Aunt Alice-isms for a quote. This is without ever knowing the details of what you’re going through. She’s like the heart and soul whisperer of the family.

Yesterday she hit me with a common quote about speaking on a level to which everyone [in your audience] understands. Then she added, “But it’s not your place to rectify chosen ignorance.” And then a little deeper into the convo she says, “You can learn about how the roots and the soil get along, but you can’t pick an orange from a willow tree. What the willow doesn’t say about the fruit is just as important though.”

Simple notions placed in a setting that helps you apply as needed.

Behind every presenter of comedic relief, there’s an equal but opposite presenter of bullshit. 

I look real? Really? With a smile? That’s the best compliment ever.

Being deliberate has been a strong suit of mine lately.

I’m not mad. 

I just came across an old video of my first experience with shea butter. It was about 3 years ago.

2 things I learned: Even though only my hand and arm are visible in the video, I can tell I was damn close to 200lbs. then. Secondly, I ain’t shit.

Let me add a third: I’m so country, I turn myself on.

I had to check the creation date on that joint when I used “the ‘n’ word”

Rine! has come a mighty long way. LoL! 

Sometimes those reminders come right on time.

I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was “Why?”

My life currently has too many unanswered questions/seemingly unsolvable dilemmas. 

The first question I need to fulfill is why I ain’t got no blunt.

I haven’t felt like doing anything lately. “The holiday season” is still touchy for me and I find myself anticipating mid-February and trying to pump the breaks at July.

I have quite a few rainchecks out there and a lot more to hand out…

Gosh, the weight lifted when you get some things off your heart.

Woke up this morning feeling lighter and brighter. 

I’ve just finished and turned in an assignment given to me that could lead to one of my dream careers. The assignment wasn’t due until Friday, but my OCD won over my ADD, thus that joint got submitted today. It was an assignment to prove I’m dedicated to the cause and would be a lucrative investment. 

Now that I’m sitting here taking a breather, the thought of being rejected is creeping upon me. I don’t have a fear of rejection but when it comes to art, well “…I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit.” -Erykah Badu

Aside from that, I have Rine! on the other shoulder saying, “I wish a motherfucker would reject me after I done typed up all that sh*t.”

There seems to be balance…

wearemostaliveindreams:

All of my
friends
have fallen,
in love and
I’m left
to obsess
over self-
destruction.